Starting Over
by klutzy-albino
Summary: We all know Sam as the strong and determined leader of the werewolf pack, but was he always so confident? What exactly was he thinking when he found Bella in New Moon? One shot.
1. Author's note

I just wanted to say, Many thanks to the wonderful Incantare and Firefly, for some superb Beta Reading. I couldn't have done it with out you. Thank you for all the hard work.

And of course a big thank you to the creator of the Twilight Universe, Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for letting us play with your stories.


	2. Starting Over

Sam Uley stared at the wall with grim satisfaction. The blood suckers were gone. He didn't know why, and he didn't care. All he knew was that his home was now safer. But as his eyes traced the grain of the faded wood, he wondered if his whole being, everything he was, could now be for nothing. Were the cold ones not the reason for his own inhuman transformation? Now that they and the danger they imposed, the danger he was entrusted to extinguish, were gone, all the pain and mental anguish he had caused had been for nothing.

Emily's trusting image filled his mind. Her lovely face, distorted in the pain his own existence had caused. And even still she could not blame him, and he could not take it back. All those days he had spent, staring at her sleeping, disfigured face; the endless guilt that plauged him every time he lied about the source of her pain. His head fell into his hands. If only they had chosen to haunt another place with their presence, this ancient curse would not have been set into motion. While wrestling with his thoughts the phone rang. The shrill noise was welcome distraction from the direction his thoughts had taken him. Slowly, trying to shake the melancholy mood that had settled over him, he stood up and walked to the phone. Billy's frantic but strong voice filled the air.

"Sam, I need you to do me a favor." Sam could hear the worry in Billy's usually playful voice though he tried to hide it.

"Of course, Billy," Sam soothed as reassuringly as he could. "Anything you need."

"Charlie's girl, Bella...she's missing." Billy paused for a brief moment, his voice on the edge of hysteria. It was obvious that she was more than just missing.

"Charlie's real worried, he found a note, she went for a walk with...a cold one, the one I told you about. The one I warned her of."

Immediately Sam's mind snapped to attention. Billy had tried to persuade, the council that the risk was too great for Bella, so great that it would be right to bend the treaty and inform Charlie of the risk. Charlie's daughter, however, had not shown any concern, and in fact professed otherwise. It had baffled them all. It was almost as if she knew the truth…but how could anyone want to be close to something so...horrible? It had obviously cost her.

"I don't...if she...we need to find her if we can, and I know that you know the woods much better than any of those guys Charlie's got out there," Billy murmured, trying in vain to sound confident, but they both knew that the girl might not be found.

"Sure, sure, Billy, I'll call the others, we'll find her." He wanted to say, "I promise", but he had been told all of his life of the cruelty of bloodsuckers, stories he had once thought were just to scare him. Reality hits you hard when you're most surprised. Even last spring this same girl, Bella, had gone somewhere, and come back nearly dead at the hand of what at least Billy believed to be the cold ones. She nearly worried Charlie and Billy to death, but Jacob, Billy's son, was supposed to have taken it harder than all of them. He cared about Bella, and refused to believe that the so called "superstitions" of the tribe had an ounce of truth to them. These "superstitions" that would soon be his fate were nothing but a crazy fairytale in his eyes. Sam was unsettled whenever he thought of his own transformation, the confusion of your world shattering before your eyes, being molded and changed without your consent. No matter the added strength and agility, or the nobility of the purpose, Sam would not wish it on anyone.

"Thanks Sam. I really appreciate this. Bring her back to Charlie." With that Billy hung up the phone, quite aware that there could be no proper response. Sam tried to keep down his excitement and fear as he phased. Running through the woods, like second nature to him now, he called to Paul and Jared. It was sometimes convenient the way his small pack shared their thoughts, a comforting element that drew them together. But often it was a pain, having to worry about concealing any doubt, any fear. Right now though, his thoughts were so muddled, he only had to let the others tune them out. He instead focused on what Paul and Jared were thinking. They had phased quickly, and were running towards Billy's house to meet up. Paul was muttering about being woken up to find a "leech lover", but Jared, always the more sensible of the two, was quietly wondering about what might happen if Bella was not found. What it might mean for the pack, Sam had to wonder himself. What could they do with the blood suckers already gone?

Sam saw the others arrive at Billy's and quickly assembled their clothes. They exchanged a few hurried words with Billy, borrowed his little black car, and drove towards Forks. Sam could feel Billy's wise eyes following them as they pulled away. No one said a word as Sam drove a little too fast to Forks. It was hard to take the time to pretend to drive, when the three of them would travel so much faster if they could only phase. Sam found himself speeding up. They had to stay inconspicuous. Showing up as wolves, or unclothed for that matter, would be entirely useless. When they pulled up, Charlie quickly met them halfway. He greeted them and explained the situation.

"Her note said she was going up the path." He nervously ran his hands through his curly hair. "Neither she nor Edward are anywhere near the path. I have men searching the area."

So the bloodsucker had a name, how amusing. Sam placed a sympathetic hand on Charlie's arm.

"We'll find her, Charlie. As fast as we can." Charlie nodded absently, already turning distractedly to talk to one of his officers.

Sam signaled to Paul and Jared, and they quickly made up their minds on which areas they would cover. They folded their clothes, left them in the shadows hiding the car, and merged into the forest. Everything was much more vibrant in this form, and despite the drizzle of rain and the utter darkness, Sam could see and smell the rich scent of pine and spruce far off in the distance, and feel the soft vibration of the falling rain. Without distraction, he quickly caught Bella's scent deep into the forest. Why was she so far away from the path, and was she okay? Had the putrid bloodsuckers harmed her and tossed her aside like a used plaything? Did he only smell her remains? Picking up as much speed as he could, he told the others, who could no doubt already hear, of his find, and they prepared to help him if needed. Bella's slender body was visible from where he was, and he noted with relief that she was inhaling slow shaky breaths. She was staring, eyes wide into the mist, not seeming to care that she was soaked lying on the cold ground. He quickly ran toward the car where he changed back into his human form and regular clothes, and with expert direction began the trek back to where Bella lay.

"Bella," He called her name when she came into view, and held the lantern he carried above her head. She only stared up at him with that vacant gaze.

''Have you been hurt?" Surely she would smell different had there been a change, but she did not have the icy harshness of a blood sucker. Perhaps her vacant stare was out of fear. He had only met her briefly once before; he could not have been a familiar face.

"Bella, my name is Sam Uley."

No response.

"Charlie sent me to look for you." A flicker of awareness reached her eyes. He breathed a sigh of relief, offering her his hand to help her up. It did no good. She only stared again, the vacant expression returning to her eyes, as if she didn't even know where she was. He knew this could get them nowhere, so after quickly scooping her up, he began to walk out of the forest. As he did, he looked down at this young girl. Her eyes were bland, almost glazed, but there was a pain behind them, the depths of which he could only imagine. Her skin looked gaunt and pale. Her lips moved continuously, sounding like she was muttering, "he's gone" over and over again like a mantra. Whatever had happened, she was obviously suffering post trauma.

As soon as the lights from the house were visible, Sam loudly called that he had found her. A buzz of relieved excitement ensued. Charlie, his face a mask of gratefulness, stepped forward and, with some trouble, took Bella into his own arms. His contact seemed to comfort her a little. Sam followed, to make sure Charlie could hold her, and opened the door to let them in. Paul and Jared were behind him, watching for signs to make sure the girl was alright. Sam soon turned away, having heard and seen enough, and as he walked out the door he heard the elderly doctor ask, "Are you hurt, Bella?"

Sam frowned. She was hurt. The demons had done something. They had hurt her terribly, he was sure of it. How could anyone cause pain to something so fragile, so trusting? But Emily's warm, beautiful face danced through his mind.

He had.

But suddenly a new thought emerged, comfortingly wrapping around his conscience. What if this curse, this monster he had become, was not a curse at all, but a way to help prevent anyone from being mislead and hurt, like Bella? Could he and his pack somehow be the only barrier protecting all these innocent people from such terrible creatures as the could ones? No one should see the anguish he saw in Bella's eyes. There was almost something supernatural, the amount of pain he could see. He would not let that happen to anyone again. The plan was solidifying in his mind. He could use his new found power to protect. This time they might have been too late, or turned too blind an eye, but it wouldn't happen again. Sam could see his destiny, glimmering in the distance. To protect.

It was not a curse, but a gift.


End file.
